OK Sandra...

Am I tripping?

Sometimes you need advice. Sometimes you need perspective. And sometimes you just need somebody to tell you whether you're reading too much into it. Fair warning: the answer isn't automatically no.

This week's scenario

He liked his ex's picture at 2 a.m. Am I tripping?

They dated for four years and broke up before we met. It was one like on a beach photo. I've been up since.

You might be overthinking this one.

One like on one photo is thin evidence. People keep old accounts, thumbs drift, and 2 a.m. is when everybody scrolls badly. If this is the entire file, I'd close it.

But you didn't write to me about the like. You wrote to me because you've been up since. That's the part worth your attention. Something in you was already waiting for confirmation, and the thumb gave it a place to land.

So ask a better question: has he given you reason, or has someone before him? If it's someone before him, that's a repair job that doesn't involve his phone at all.

The bigger question isn't the like. It's why your first instinct was to gather evidence instead of ask a question.

Let's talk about it

More verdicts

Four possible answers — and we use all four.

Yes, you might be overthinking this. No, you're not imagining the pattern. There isn't enough information yet. Or: the bigger question isn't whether you're tripping.

Friendship

My friend only calls when she needs something. Am I tripping?

Six calls in three months. Five were favors. I keep saying yes and then feeling used.

No, you're not imagining the pattern.

Five out of six is a pattern, not a mood. You're allowed to name it.

Now the uncomfortable half: you said yes all five times, and she has no idea the arrangement bothers you. Resentment you never voiced isn't a betrayal on her part — it's information you've been withholding.

Say the true thing once, kindly. If she adjusts, you have a friend with bad habits. If she disappears, you had an arrangement, not a friendship, and you just learned it cheaply.

Reciprocity is not a favor tally. It's whether both of you will be inconvenienced.

Mother + Daughter

My mother still talks to me like I'm 15 and I'm 35. Am I tripping?

She comments on my hair, my job, my grocery choices. I turn into a teenager within four minutes of walking in.

No — and you're also participating.

She's running an old script. Most mothers do; the role is decades deep and nobody handed her a new one.

Here's your part, and it's the only part you control: you're still auditioning for her approval by arguing. Defending your grocery choices is participation. It tells her the review is welcome.

Try: 'I'm not going to talk about that, but tell me about your week.' Warm, boring, repeated. You are not correcting her — you're declining a role.

You cannot get a grown woman's ending out of a teenager's script. Change your lines, not hers.

Work + Career

My coworker keeps presenting my ideas like they're hers. Am I tripping?

Third time this quarter. I mention something in a small meeting, she says it in the big one.

There isn't enough information yet — but there's a fix either way.

It could be theft. It could also be that she genuinely absorbed an idea and lost the trail. Motive is hard to prove and, frankly, not your problem to prove.

Change the logistics instead. Put ideas in writing, in a channel with a timestamp, before the big meeting. 'Following up on what I raised Tuesday' does more work than any confrontation.

If it continues after that, you're no longer guessing, and you'll have a record instead of a feeling.

When you can't win an argument about intent, change the paper trail.

Communication

My boyfriend says I'm too sensitive every time I tell him something hurt me. Am I tripping?

It happens whenever I bring anything up. We never finish the actual conversation.

No. And notice what the phrase accomplishes.

'You're too sensitive' isn't a response to what happened — it's a response to being told. It moves the subject from the event to your reaction, and the original thing never gets addressed.

Your side of the ledger: bring one issue, calmly, not stacked with history. Give the deflection nothing to grab.

Then watch. If a single, calm sentence still becomes a conversation about your temperament, you've learned something real about whether this relationship can hold repair.

A relationship's health shows up in what happens after someone says 'that hurt.'

Mother + Daughter

My daughter doesn't tell me anything anymore. Am I tripping?

She's 22. I get one-word answers and I hear her news from her cousin.

You're not imagining it. It may not be an emergency.

Separation is developmental before it's personal. Some of this is a young woman building a life she doesn't need approved.

Still, ask yourself honestly what used to happen when she told you things. If disclosure came with commentary, she learned the cost of talking.

Offer contact without an interview. Low-stakes, no follow-up questions. Make yourself easy to come back to.

A closed door isn't always a locked one. Sometimes it's just new.

Before you go...

  • What information are you missing?
  • What would you say if a friend described this to you?
  • What are you hoping the answer is, and why?
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