RelationshipsFor Women6 min read
OK Sandra... Am I Asking for Too Much?
I've been with him two years and I feel like I spend most of that time explaining why things matter to me.
— Tired of Explaining, 29
Read Sandra's responseDear Sandra
Letters in. Honest answers back.
Every letter opens the same way — OK Sandra... — and every answer tries to find the real question underneath. Sandra doesn't automatically take anyone's side. That's the whole point.
FriendshipFor Women5 min read
OK Sandra... My Friend Only Calls When She Needs Something.
Eleven years of friendship and I can predict the phone call. It's never just to talk anymore.
— The One Who Answers, 34
Read Sandra's responseRelationshipsFor Women7 min read
OK Sandra... I Love Him, But I Don't Like Who I Am Around Him.
I check his phone. I read into his tone. I've become suspicious in a way I've never been with anyone.
— Somebody Else Lately, 31
Read Sandra's responseBoundariesFor Women5 min read
OK Sandra... Why Do I Feel Guilty Every Time I Say No?
I said no to hosting the holiday this year and I've been sick about it for a week.
— Recovering Yes-Woman, 38
Read Sandra's responseMother + DaughterFor Moms + Daughters7 min read
OK Sandra... My Daughter Doesn't Talk to Me Anymore.
She used to tell me everything. Now I get 'fine' and a closed door, and she's 26 years old.
— Still Her Mother, 57
Read Sandra's responseCommunicationFor Women6 min read
OK Sandra... He Says I'm Too Sensitive.
Every time I say something hurt me, the conversation becomes about how I reacted instead of what happened.
— Apparently Dramatic, 27
Read Sandra's responseStarting OverFor Women6 min read
OK Sandra... I'm 45 and I Have No Idea What I Want Next.
The kids are grown, the marriage ended politely, and I genuinely cannot answer the question 'what do you like?'
— Blank Page, 45
Read Sandra's responseGriefFor Everyone6 min read
OK Sandra... My Mother Died and Everybody Thinks I Should Be Fine By Now.
It's been fourteen months. People have stopped asking. I am nowhere near fine.
— Her Youngest, 34
Read Sandra's responseMoneyFor Women5 min read
OK Sandra... I Make Good Money. Why Am I Still Broke?
I got the raise I begged for and my account looks exactly the same. Maybe worse.
— Direct Deposit, Directly Gone, 33
Read Sandra's responseFaith + HealingFor Everyone6 min read
OK Sandra... I Don't Want to Forgive Yet.
Everyone at church keeps telling me to forgive her. I'm not there. I'm not sure I want to be.
— Still Angry in the Third Pew
Read Sandra's responseSelf-DiscoveryFor Women6 min read
OK Sandra... Why Do I Keep Choosing People Who Need Saving?
Three relationships, same shape. I meet potential and I sign up for the renovation.
— The Fixer, 36
Read Sandra's responseBoundariesFor Women5 min read
OK Sandra... I Said No and Now Everyone Is Mad at Me.
I finally set the boundary. Now I'm the villain in a group chat I'm not even in.
— The Bad Guy Now, 31
Read Sandra's response