OK Sandra... I Make Good Money. Why Am I Still Broke?
The letter
Sandra,
I make more than my mother ever did and I have $340 in savings. I'm not buying anything wild. It just evaporates.
I feel stupid, and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know.
— Direct Deposit, Directly Gone, 33
Sandra says
You're not stupid. You're unmeasured. Those look identical from the inside and only one of them is fixable in an afternoon.
Most money that 'evaporates' leaves through subscriptions, food, and the quiet lifestyle upgrade that follows every raise. You didn't decide to spend more; the raise just filled the container. That's not a character flaw, it's physics.
Do this before you read another money book. Print ninety days of transactions. Highlight every recurring charge. Add them up. Most women find between $180 and $400 a month they forgot they authorized. That number is your starting budget for a savings account you never touch.
Then one boring rule: the day money lands, a fixed amount leaves for savings automatically. Not what's left at the end — there is never anything left at the end.
And let's name the embarrassment, because it's expensive. Shame keeps women from asking questions that would take a banker eleven minutes to answer. You are allowed to not know this. Nobody taught most of us.
Think about this
- What do your last ninety days actually say about your priorities?
- What did money feel like in the house you grew up in?
- What's the first number you'd need to know to feel less afraid?
What would you tell her?
What's the money lesson you wish someone had told you at 25?
Reader responses open when our moderated community launches. Until then, write to Sandra directly.
- Ask Sandra
- Money
- Career
- Self
Before you go...
- What part of this sounded familiar?
- What would you tell your best friend if she were in this situation?
- What are you afraid will happen if you say what you actually need?
- What would you do differently if guilt weren't making the decision?
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Editorial note: this is a sample letter written by the OK SANDRA editorial team during the Founding Preview. It is not a real reader submission. "Sandra Says" represents the editorial voice of the platform, inspired by Sandra K. Brooks.